Let me get real and say: I am a human too. For the last couple of monthS, I’ve been having many days when I’m feeling empty. I’ve been feeling that my life has no reason, that I am not truly happy. But I wonder when are we really happy? what do we think we need to be TRULY HAPPY? a person, a certain job or material things? But once we get that, will we be really and truly happy?
Before I left Argentina I wasn’t happy, I felt trapped in a family, trapped in a society that always told me I wasn’t tall enough, skinny enough, blonde enough, pretty enough. I just didn’t fit. And I thought that by leaving the country I would find true freedom and happiness. I felt the need to leave and escape from the miserable person I had become. I needed to escape from the fights with my family, from my friends, miserable job, from the miserable me. So I left. And when I got to the U.S. I realized I could change my life as many times as I wanted. Anything was possible, and that my dreams could come true if I work for them.
I left my home and my family behind, and confronted a whole new world of opportunities by myself. Alone against the world. And guess what? I still wasn’t happy. I still felt the same way I did in Buenos Aires, with the exception that I didn’t have my family around, I was all alone. I felt excluded, out of place, discriminated, alone, SO ALONE.
So I wonder, are we getting true happiness from an exterior situation or thing? I though that changing countries and moving away was what would make me happy, but it didn’t. It was just another scenario for life, other challenges, other people and situations. Good and bad ones. So if I get what I want so much from an exterior source, would that be absolute happiness all the time? I am not sure, I think I would be happy to have what I want in my life but it won’t be true happiness if nothing is changing within myself. In myself is where I should find my happiness. If i am able to find it inside me, no matter what happens around, I will still be happy. This doesn’t mean that I won’t have any sad moments or that I will never cry again, of course not. Life has those moments and we have to live through them, but when I wipe my tears away I am able to see the good things in my life and recognize them. Even when we feel that sadness, even having our problems, if we are able to be thankful for the blessing we have, then we are in the right path to the evolution of our soul.
I was able to wipe my tears last night, and think: God, thank you, thank you for all you gave me, your light and strength, thank you. That was all I needed to say and I fell sleep not feeling sad anymore.
Crying is not a bad thing, we must do it, is a natural way to express emotions. If we don’t express our emotions we become robots. I am glad for those moments, I am thankful for them. I am thankful for this heartbreak and for the loneliness that I sometimes feel. Those are part of our journey, and we have to embrace them. Those feelings are not part of who we are, but part of what happens in our lives and they are just right. Tomorrow or the day after we will realize that we have learned from this.
I felt the need to say this. I felt someone out there needed to hear it. You are not alone in your pain, we are all connected. We are all going through a journey and we must help each other to get there. You will get pass this, I know you will.
Be thankful for this moment, for your happiness or sadness, everything is temporary, this too shall pass and you will rise and be better. Trust and believe. I will believe for you until you are ready.