I talk a lot about how to feel better, how to appreciate what we have, how to love yourself more and forgive yourself. But what happens when none of that matters? When you are having such a bad moment, or day or season, and you just CAN’T leave that dark place you are in?
I found this beautiful poem of Rumi
The Guest House
This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice.
meet them at the door laughing and invite them in.
Be grateful for whatever comes.
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.
— Jellaludin Rumi,
The most important thing you have to do is accept what you are feeling, do not fight it. What you fight will become even stronger. Do not hide it and do not hide yourself behind work, or other people’s problems. That is not healthy. Accept how you feel, observe your feelings and most important: find out what made you feel that way, what triggered the feeling?. Write it all down: How do I feel? Why do I feel this way? Since when I’m feeling this way? What triggered my feelings? If you are not sure how to express what you are feeling then write down anything you think it better describes it. This might seem silly, but when you write it down you become conscious of what is going on inside of you, just thinking about it won’t help you through the process.
Write it down and you will feel how things start to become clearer for you. However, that doesn’t mean is over and you are completely recovered, no. You have to work it out. You must know that it won’t be solved in one day, that you can’t just find out what you are feeling and file it in the back of your mind. But now you are working on it, and that is a much better place to be than where you were before.
Once you start accepting and recognizing your feelings and what triggers them, you will start to know yourself better and to recognize what affects you, in good or bad ways. You should also recognize what changes your mood into a better one. I know that when I’m having a bad moment, if my best friend text me something funny, or if I go to Pinterest and look at Harry Potter memes I will feel better immediately. That is because you are taking the focus off the bad situation, or the problem that you are facing.
Keep in mind that those are not really “bad” situations, and the word “problem” has a negative connotation, all of that is just part life and part of the lesson you must learn. Those are circumstances that makes you feel either good or bad, but like Rumi says in his poem: “meet them at the door laughing and invite them in”. This wont last forever. Just remember that.