I suck at doing what I don’t like

It is all about following your heart. Take the risk. Taking the ownership of your life. My heart keeps screaming that within me. Yet I still have a hard time listening. 

I took this decision months ago, sold my belongings, packed my stuff and left everything behind not knowing what was going to be of my life. Sounds poetic right? But a lot of fears and confusion came with that too.

That sole decision has changed my life forever.

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I cannot go back to a settled life anymore. I can’t be happy anymore with a 9-5 job, 401K, furniture, routine, a known path, same bed every night… I simply can’t. And its all fault of that decision of leaving and following my dreams.

There is no turning back. It is true what they say, the travel bug is as real as zika (?).

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There are some people that enjoy a vacation now and then, love to have their stability, jobs, house, dogs and 401k (yes Im absolutely obsessed with it). They need security.

Some others are afraid of all that. It suffocate us to know exactly where our life is heading. We are cataloged as irresponsible, unstable, losers or unemployed… we prefer: Adventurers, seekers, creative, travelers, passionate.

I do fear not having a career path, but I know what is my passion. I fear to be homeless, but I am not planning on becoming one, I fear not to have money, but I won’t let that happen.

We all have the same fears, we are humans and come with the same bags of feelings. But we also have the possibility to chose. You can chose to live life however you want. If you are happy in your stability keep it. If you are not, and share with me this infinite hunger for adventures and challenges and new places, then welcome to this wonderful life that you will create for yourself.

Do not be afraid, you are not alone. You are not irresponsible. This is your life, and you have the right to chose how to live it. Every single day.

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I was trapped between what my heart wanted and what my mind told me I should do. I spent years of going on and on about it, reading other people’s blogs, day dreaming, being miserable every morning when my alarm went off and so on… You know that feeling. That feeling of knowing you are wasting your days doing something you don’t love.  But when you start talking about traveling your heart start racing and your eyes get that special brightness like when you are in love. That feeling.

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I tried many times to be “responsible” and put together a life I knew it wasn’t for me. I pushed myself into taking jobs I didn’t like, and into signing contracts feeling I was selling my soul to Ursula the sea witch.

I realized every time, no matter if in New Orleans or Miami, I was miserable anyways. I wasn’t giving the best of me,  I was always depressed and even came out as unfriendly at times. All because I was pushing myself into a life I was not meant to live. I got tired of all that, and took the step.

I am amazing at doing what I love, but I suck at doing what I don’t like.

Circumstances in life will keep repeating themselves until you take that step forward. Your heart is guiding you. Trust the call. Trust yourself.

I am still dealing with finding my path, but I am following my heart and listening to it. It never disappointed me so far, but I can’t say the same about my mind.

 

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“Find what you love & Let it kill you” – Lennon Wall in Prague

If you can relate I recommend you to watch “Into the wild”.

You are not the only one who is in a search. We are not irresponsible for wanting what we want, we are taking responsibility for our happiness.

“I’d like to repeat the advice that I gave you before, in that I think you really should make a radical change in your lifestyle and begin to boldly do things which you may previously never have thought of doing, or been too hesitant to attempt. So many people live within unhappy circumstances and yet will not take the initiative to change their situation because they are conditioned to a life of security, conformity, and conservatism, all of which may appear to give one peace of mind, but in reality nothing is more damaging to the adventurous spirit within a man than a secure future. The very basic core of a man’s living spirit is his passion for adventure. The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun…
My point is that you do not need me or anyone else around to bring this new kind of light in your life. It is simply waiting out there for you to grasp it, and all you have to do is reach for it. The only person you are fighting is yourself and your stubbornness to engage in new circumstances.” – Jon Krakauer, Into the Wild

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