No, I didn’t make a mistake in naming this entrance “Day 1”. Is just that I feel I am always starting over. One moment we think life is taking us in certain direction, that we more or less have a plan, goals, schedules, etc. And swoosh. Life twists everything around in a second.
I was supposed to be in Asia atm. Doing my internship in a beautiful island in the SEA.
Well, life as always, had other plans.
And now I am in Rome again. And… It is not nice again.
What brought me here was a great job opportunity, one that I couldn’t say no to. Although, looking back I should have. Because despite how great the opportunity may be, is not my dream job. And by following my plans in SEA I would have got where I wanted to be, professionally. But you know… Everything happens for a reason.
And here we are, Rome and I, united again, after a very painful relationship two years ago, that lasted only 9 months. Back then, all that infatuation I had with this city was out the drain in only few months. However, I thought with this job everything would work better now, for Rome and I.
But people (or cities) don’t change so easily, and Rome is still difficult, as much as is beautiful. And I don’t have the energy nor the innocence I had two years ago when I first arrived.
Now I am more similar to Rome. Intolerant. Out of patience and Angry.
In these 2 years I have been out of Rome, nothing has changed (for good). In fact, things seem worse. The only thing that remains is its beauty. Nobody, no matter how mad you can be at her, can deny its beauty.
In Rome you always have to be on flight-or-fight mode. The moment you leave your house every morning (and sometimes even inside your house) you gotta be ready. Because she’s coming at you. And you betta’ be ready to confront her reality.
Yes, I know I have been carrying this negativity for sometime now… But Rome is not helping me. She is, as always been, inflexible. Like me, as I said before, I am becoming more like Rome. The problem is… There cannot be two of us in the same place.
This time around the end of our love has happened much faster than last time. Second times not always work. I know that. But I couldn’t help not to be helpful again. After all the love we shared…
The only way now, is to find (again) the way out. Keeping the best memories of our love story. Which began in 2016, and both of us (Rome and I) with fresh eyes welcome each other with love and expectations.
The good news are, the future is uncertain, I feel free living in instability. No set plans nor itineraries, because this is a secret I am keeping from life. I don’t want her to find out and twist my story again 😉
Thank you for being there.
With love from Pigneto (Roma)